Even Now

Even now,
I get choked up,
Tears well in my eyes,
And I'm all but incapacitated,
Whenever I hear your voice.

Three years seems enough,
To come to terms,
To get a grip,
To at least not feel so raw,
But I guess not.

Perhaps it's the bond we forged in youth,
Or the fact that your spirit was true,
One in a million,
Without doubt,
And I know I'm not alone in this thought.

If you were here and I said these things,
I know you'd just smile,
You'd wave me off with a laugh,
You'd change the subject,
If you had the chance.

Even now,
You're still larger than life,
In my mind,
And in my heart,
And my soul aches when I think of you.

You'd hate that,
I know,
But it's just the way it is,
Losing friends,
And living with ghosts.

Even now,
I can barely hear you sing,
Let alone sing along,
Without feeling overwhelmed,
And wishing you were still here.

6-15-19